iAmGabi

The creative product of author Gabi Goffman.

Sick
by Gabi, age 10

One Saturday I woke up with an elephant on my head
“Oh my God!” I cried. “I must be dead!”

My teeth are purple, my toes are green
My head feels like it’s been in a washing machine

And my stomach? Well, it’s been bitten by a piranha
When I feel like this I wish I had some Dolce & Gabbana

I think I have swampy alligators crawling out of my ears
It hurts so much it’s bringing me to tears

And now as I lie here, my eyelashes quiver with tears of pain
Which for the past fourteen hours have been seeping into my brain

And I think in an hour, I shall be dead
Right here in my soft cozy fluffy pink bed

At my funeral, I’d like for all my friends to be there
Except for Jimmy, who has no hair

I’d like my coffin to be hot pink
And request that inside you install a big purple sink

‘Cause even if you’re dead you need to wash your hair
Because before you see God you need to prepare

And don’t forget to pack my clothes
And spray my dead body with scent of rose

So now I bid you a fond good­bye
Get out that onion and pretend to cry

 

 

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